Feeling the Pressure Yet?

The school year is finally coming to an end and things are starting to bite me harder than ever before. Sometimes I think I'm too laid back about certain things I mean my friends started worrying about scholarships way before I did while at the time I never even gave it a 2nd thought. I look at my friends now and some of them already received over $100,000 in scholarships! I'm going to go to UH for Electrical Engineering going to dorm there to beat traffic and parking and all that. It's going to cost me about 16 grand a year..... That's kind of hard to swallow especially because of my situation. I've only been working on scholarships recently and I haven't received any scholarships from UH yet. I did receive $20,000 from Trinity but I'm not going there. We find out who gets the scholarships in May so I'm really crossing my fingers on a lot of scholarships that I entered right now. I just sent in some stuff for UH so hopefully FAFSA helps me out a lot too. The stupid thing about this is that I know that I need the money but I'm not really feeling the sting of it yet. I guess I'm so used to accepting whatever happens that I forgot what it's like to really freak out about things but oh well. Freaking out isn't really my style I guess. For now I guess I'll just have to wait it out and see. When I look at other people I wonder how they can be so excited for things. I've never been the kind of person that gets rowdy and insane when my favorite team wins or really dramatic when something scary or bad happens. My teachers say that I'm a very stoic person but I've always wondered what it was like to act with so much emotion. Some people are gonna cry at gradation and some people will party like there's no tomorrow. I just wonder how I'll react to it. Maybe I'll stand there with my same bored and uncaring face? I don't know, all I know is that my engineering degree is going to take a lot of work.