The more I think about it

You know the more I think about it the more I really don't want to go..... At first I was thinking "YEAH!!! It'll be so great!!!!" But now as time passes I'm starting to believe that I don't want to go through with it.... When I was first given the offer I thought it would be fabulous because there was people there that I could get along with you know? People that actually accept me and people that I can have fun with. But as time passed I guess the circumstances changed and now it seems that its only getting worse! There's nothing that feels worse than being in a place where you feel awkward, a place that you have no one that you can really connect with. Can you imagine being in a place where all the people you are with are in one social group and you aren't apart of it? That awkward boringness is kind of giving me second thoughts I mean this is an opportunity that I was really looking forward to but what's the point if I'm not gonna have fun right? Like I need to be in a place where people only think of themselves rather than think of the group. I'll admit that I get greedy at times but I always try and act in a way that will benefit the group. A certain someone told me that I'm too nice of a guy....... I guess thats true but not all the time cause some people can really bring out my horrible side. I just hope it doesn't get to that point because the last time I was pushed over my boiling point I kind of got into really DEEP trouble...... Well I guess we'll see where this goes from here.....